Hi. My name is Codi. My middle name is Sue, just to clarify that I am indeed a girl, actually a middle aged female if we want to be precise. Seeing that this is an interview, I’ll try to be as accurate as possible. I’m thinking that’s what my human had in mind at any rate. So, here it goes:
I chose this picture to start things off because, ahem, the colors really show off my pretty markings. My lovely glossy black coat, white paws, and tan accents are one of my many great assets. (Without seeming too braggadocious, I wowed the vet the other day with these fine features).
You might be wondering what kind of dog I am. Yes, I’m the famous Corgi that even the queen prefers. Hence the cute short legs that make me an enjoyable small dog while not being a fru-fru toy dog. Some people say that short dogs are like mops. I must admit that when it’s wet outside, I tend to pick up a lot of moisture on my belly that my humans insist on wiping off when I come inside. But it’s all a matter of perspective. My short legs keep my nose close to the ground, a very important feature as you will soon see.
On to my nose, a prominent feature of my face. This nose is indispensable for all kinds of important tasks. It helps me find every crumb that just might drop from my human’s plate. In fact, that’s where I mostly hang out, wherever my humans are. If they do drop some choice tidbit, they have little chance of recovering it. It’s my method of keeping things neat around here. Just helping out with the chores. Of course, my highly sensitive nose is also used to hunt my number one enemy: squirrels. While my humans think that I’m aimlessly wandering around the yard, little do they know the flood of information entering and being sorted in my brain. It’s quite amazing, actually. Sometimes they laugh at me when they happen to see a rabbit, and it takes me an extra five minutes to find it due to following it’s complicated scent trail. They think it’s funny….I think they’re jealous.
My human wanted me to talk about my back legs. I don’t see what’s so funny about them, but this is how they work. Whenever I’m walking either slowly or quickly, the four legs move on their own. But once I break into a trot or run, my back legs work together as a highly efficient single spring, and my humans think that it looks somewhat like a rabbit. Yeeesh, they could come up with a better, less embarrassing analogy, I would think. Let’s quickly move on to something else.
This is my adorable, melt-my-humans look. My warm brown eyes, tan eyebrows, and happy grin makes them a puddle of affection every time. Well, almost every time. Somehow, it doesn’t work after I’ve put my perfume on. You see, every lady has a signature scent. Mine is dead animals. Give me a dead fish, robin, or squirrel, and I will apply it liberally by rolling on it. It’s a very effective method of applying fragrance. For some reason, my humans don’t appreciate it. Even when I give my melt-my-humans look. They march me off to the tub, and I have to suffer through a bath and wet fur for hours. Thankfully, they do give me a treat when it’s all over. Speaking of treats….
I have a very good grasp of the English language. You could say that I’m pretty much bilingual. I know six words very well: treat, breakfast, supper, walk, ride, and stay. Yes, the first half all have to do with food. I’m officially in love with food. Too many stories about my adventures with food could be told, but suffice it to say that most of my punishments were the result of taking a few too many liberties with my human’s food. As I said, I’m pretty much bilingual. And when I’m not sure what my humans are saying (they do seem to speak an awful lot of gibberish!), I just look up at them with intelligence shining from my eyes, and I totally have them fooled.
Are you asking how my relationship with Bubba, the resident cat, is going? Well, ahem, let’s just say that it’s a moving relationship. Bubba runs and I chase. But let’s be fair. I’m stuck inside the house every morning, while that cat gets to roam. Sometimes he’ll come up to the patio window, sit on the wonderful side of freedom, groom himself meticulously, and then stroll off. It’s quite infuriating. The only way I get back at him is by chasing him whenever I can, and stealing his food whenever his dish is left on the deck. So I guess you could say that a little growth might be needed in this department.
Yes, the photo above is a little dark and hardly does justice to me, but it’s an illustration of my ability to problem solve. As a little background, I have to sleep every night in the human’s bedroom on a little dog bed. It’s a long story, but the short story is that my protective barking at random times during the night was not appreciated, and so now I sleep right next to them. The unfortunate side effect is that I can no longer see the excitement of what happens through the patio window at night. Anyways, I now awake to the alarm clock every morning along with my humans. And let me tell you, they don’t like to get up that swiftly. My stomach is aching with hunger, but all they do is hit the snooze button. Obviously, I needed to solve the problem. A good lick in the face with my fragrant morning breath would get things moving. The only problem is that the bed was a little too high for my short legs. I could only jump onto the side, but the humans would ignore me at that rate. So my problem solving skills, which are a strength of mine, saved the morning. See the trunk at the base of the bed? By hopping onto the trunk first, and then using it to jump on the bed, I could race up the covers and pester the humans, which would ultimately lead to me getting my breakfast earlier. It was all quite brilliant, I must say.
What? The interview is over already? I’ve only scratched the surface! Too much braggin? What do you expect from a truthful dog?
And here’s a parting shot of my human trying to make me a Mozart, or some other such foolish thing. What I have to put up with!